A Tiny Thought

As my sweet, amazing boy was falling asleep, he whispered, “Mommy? How can I call?”
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Although I thought he was halfway to dreamland, I asked, “What do you mean?”

He replies, “When I am in my own house with my own babies and I want to call you to come over – How will I call? I can’t remember your number…” His voice trailed off as it filled with deep emotion.

Never in a million years, did I expect to hear these words from a 4-year-old’s lips. Nor did I ever believe this would weigh so heavily on his mind and heart and that prospect weighed so heavily on mine. “Well, I will always remember your number and I will call you every day, just as my mommy did. And by then, you’ll remember my number too! And you can call me every day, just like I called my mommy every day.”

“Good. So we’ll always be the best-est of friends?”

“Always.”

He quickly threw his arms around my shoulders and rested his head on my chest. I could hear the change of mood and a smile in his voice, “I love you, Mommy.”

Oh, my boy, how I love you too.

And as I sang the lullabies my mother sang to me, the thought of him growing up, moving on his own, having a family, and calling me – enveloped my mind… He will grow up all too soon. And all too soon my heart will feel just as it did for that split moment; simultaneously sad, joyous, and proud.

“Babies don’t keep,” my mother said. She couldn’t have been more right as I sit here, 30 years old, wishing I could hear her sing her lullabies once again.

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