There’s nothing more devastating than the loss of a child – in this instance, we’re speaking of loss before conception. Being told that you can’t have a child of your own may feel as though you’ve been dealt a bad hand in life when you have so much love to offer a child. Here are some options that you should consider so that you can still experience the joys of parenthood.
Even if you or your partner can’t carry your baby, there is always the option of surrogacy. This is where another woman will carry your baby. There are a variety of methods when it comes to surrogacy, and your baby may be genetically related to one or both parents. Resources like Surrogate.com can help you find the perfect surrogate to carry your child.
Egg or Sperm Donation
In some cases, there may be a problem with only one partner in the relationship. This leaves the door open for the possibility of a donation of either an egg or sperm. Services like Egg Donor Connections often allow you to choose your donor, although intended parents and donors can’t meet due to anonymity requirements. In some instances, you may be able to carry your own child, while in other cases it may need to be paired with surrogacy in order to deliver a healthy baby.
You may just be struggling to conceive a child naturally. In vitro fertilization (IVF) is one option in which the best egg is selected and fertilized in a lab. The doctors will implant the fertilized embryo so that the pregnancy can proceed in a normal fashion. Some couples will even use IVF with a surrogate so that they may become parents.
Fostering to Make a Difference
There are thousands of kids in the foster care system that are in need of a stable home. Joining KidsPeace or another foster organization can be a very rewarding experience knowing that you’re giving these kids a chance at a new life. The downside is that you may grow attached to them. Fortunately, there is often an option to adopt them if their biological parents decide to sign over their parental rights.
An adoption agency like Adopt US Kids can help you realize your dream of parenthood. It can take years if you’re looking to adopt a baby. Adopting an older child is something that you may want to consider. Many of these children are struggling to find the right family. They may be overlooked because they are considered too old by many other couples.
You don’t have to look longingly at every child you see or avoid attending your friends’ baby showers because it hits a pang of despair in your chest. There are lots of options if you’re struggling to become a parent. A diagnosis of infertility doesn’t have to squash your dreams for parenthood.
If you are struggling with trying to conceive and haven’t been diagnosed with a medical reason for infertility, sometimes adjusting your diet, exercise, and even adding herbal supplement support can be a game changer. Let hope carry you as you choose the path best for you.
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Before every parent holds their baby for the very first time, there are a million questions that run through their minds. Can I really do this? Am I the right person to raise this child? Will this baby even like me? What if I am terrible at this? Adoptive parents have even more questions in addition to the ones that biological parents do. It may feel like your adopted newborn can’t bond with you the same way that another newborn might bond with their biological parent. After all, how can you replace all of the connections Mother Nature creates between a mother and the life growing inside of her?
Remember, birth mothers put a lot of thought into choosing adoptive families for their child. Your birth mother chose you for a reason—because she had faith that you would be able to love, teach, and provide for her child. She believed in you and trusted you. You need to believe and trust in yourself, too!
The idea that an adoptive parent can’t bond with their newborn is simply not true. The love that you feel for your new baby is just as strong as your love would be if they came from you. Newborns come into this world needing to be fed, needing to sleep, and needing a connection. That connection is formed with time and patience, and even for biological parents that bond does not always happen immediately. Here are some strategies to use when bonding with your baby that all parents can benefit from.
Child care experts, doctors, and doulas agree that one of the best ways to bond with a newborn is through skin-to-skin contact. In practice, it is the act of holding your baby against your skin while they are wearing only a diaper. Many hospitals initiate skin-to-skin contact with the mother moments after birth to help regulate breathing and vital signs.
Newborns go from an environment of warmth, food and protection inside their mother’s body to suddenly being out in the open, where they would naturally feel more vulnerable. Skin-to-skin care (or “kangaroo care”) is helping them feel that same security outside of the womb and will naturally help you form that solid bond that will last a lifetime.
While this is one of the more direct, physical strategies for bonding with your baby, you can further strengthen the bond by creating routines for the day-to-day. This helps them feel secure and create strong, positive memories. Restricting visitors for a time will also help your baby connect with you and your immediate family, although a new baby can always mean lots of excited visitors. It is important to remember that the time your baby spends with you is the most important and formative.